Perfectionism, often praised as a sign of ambition and discipline, may in fact carry deep emotional roots connected to childhood experiences and parenting styles, according to new research from Romania. The findings were published in Psychreg Journal of Psychology.
The study, which involved 156 university students aged between 18 and 51, found that authoritarian parenting (strict rules combined with low warmth) was strongly linked to both self-imposed perfectionism and perfectionism driven by external expectations. Participants who grew up under such demanding parental styles were more likely to set unrealistically high standards for themselves or to feel that others expected flawless performance from them.
The findings matter because socially prescribed perfectionism, in particular, has been tied to higher risks of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. While self-oriented perfectionism can sometimes be adaptive, helping people stay motivated and organised, it too becomes harmful when fuelled by harsh internal criticism and fear of mistakes.
Adverse childhood experiences, such as abuse, neglect, or family dysfunction, were also examined as potential influences on perfectionism. The researchers found that those who had experienced adversity in childhood were more likely to report socially prescribed perfectionism, though these experiences did not predict perfectionism as strongly as parenting style.
Gender differences emerged as well. Women reported higher levels of adverse childhood experiences, while men were more likely to describe their parents as authoritative: a style that balances expectations with warmth. But when it came to perfectionism itself, both men and women showed similar patterns.
The study suggests that authoritarian parenting may play a central role in shaping perfectionist tendencies. Children raised with strict demands and little emotional support may internalise these pressures, carrying them into adulthood. In turn, this can lead to perfectionism that undermines rather than supports mental health.
Mental health specialists have long warned that perfectionism is on the rise globally. Data show that socially prescribed perfectionism has increased by a third since the late 1980s, reflecting wider cultural pressures around success and achievement. For young people, this often translates into relentless academic and social standards, with social media adding to the sense of being constantly evaluated.
The authors argue that parenting approaches that combine warmth with structure could reduce the risk of harmful perfectionism. By encouraging independence while setting realistic expectations, parents may foster resilience and healthier self-esteem in their children.
For those already struggling with perfectionism, the findings highlight the importance of recognising the origins of these patterns. Therapy that addresses early experiences and parental influence may help individuals break free from destructive cycles of self-criticism and unrealistic demands.
As perfectionism continues to rise among younger generations, understanding its roots in both family life and childhood adversity may be vital to reducing the mental health burden linked to this personality trait.