For many families, everyday moments of childhood distress shape how children learn to cope with frustration, sadness, and fear. New research suggests that a mother’s ability to manage her own emotions plays a critical role in how she responds to her child’s emotional needs, with important implications for children’s long term emotional development. The findings were published in Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation.
The study examined how mothers react when their children show negative emotions such as anger or upset. It focused on emotion regulation and its influence on parenting responses, particularly among mothers with significant borderline personality features. These traits can include emotional instability, intense reactions, and difficulty managing stress, which often become more visible under the pressures of parenting.
Researchers analysed data from 148 mothers of children aged between 2 and 12. Just over a third of participants showed marked borderline personality features, while the remainder formed a comparison group. All mothers completed established questionnaires measuring emotion regulation and typical responses to children’s emotional distress.
The findings showed a clear pattern. Mothers who reported greater difficulty regulating their emotions were more likely to respond in non supportive ways when their children were distressed. These responses included dismissing the child’s feelings, reacting punitively, or becoming overwhelmed themselves. At the same time, higher emotional dysregulation was linked to fewer supportive responses such as helping the child understand or manage their feelings.
This pattern was especially pronounced among mothers with borderline personality features. In this group, emotional dysregulation was strongly associated with increased non supportive parenting responses. Crucially, the research found that emotion regulation did not just coexist with these traits but appeared to intensify their impact on parenting behaviour.
Interestingly, supportive responses were not consistently lower among mothers with borderline features. Instead, the study suggests a more uneven pattern of parenting, where supportive and non supportive reactions can alternate depending on emotional demands. This inconsistency may be particularly confusing for children, who rely on predictable emotional guidance to develop healthy coping skills.
The researchers highlight that parenting often involves emotionally charged situations, from tantrums to bedtime struggles. When a parent struggles to regulate her own emotions, these moments can escalate quickly. Over time, repeated non supportive responses may affect how children learn to recognise, express, and manage their own emotions.
The findings have important implications for mental health support and parenting interventions. Treatments that focus on strengthening emotion regulation skills in mothers may help improve not only parental well being but also the emotional environment in which children grow up. Approaches that target emotional awareness and regulation could therefore have benefits across generations.
While the study relied on self reported data and focused only on mothers, it adds to growing evidence that parental mental health and emotional skills are central to child development. Future research is expected to explore how these dynamics unfold over time and whether similar patterns are seen in fathers or more diverse family settings.