5 Valentine’s Day red flags every woman should know about

Valentine’s Day is traditionally marketed as the pinnacle of romance, a day of roses, candlelit dinners, and grand declarations.

However, for many women, February 14th can be a day when uncomfortable truths finally surface. According to experts, the holiday doesn’t necessarily create relationship problems; rather, it exposes emotional patterns that are already present.

Nawal Houghton, a divorce coach, mediator, and founder of Your Divorce Coach, warns that February is peak season for toxic, “too-good-to-be-true” love. “Valentine’s Day amplifies what’s already there – love or emotional imbalance,” she explains. “Intensity can feel romantic, but it isn’t always safe.”

The Danger of Love-Bombing

One of the most significant warning signs during this period is “love-bombing.” This behaviour involves overwhelming a partner with excessive attention, affection and lavish gifts. While it can feel intoxicating at first, the goal is not to build a genuine connection but to fast-track emotional attachment and gain control.

“Love-bombing feels intoxicating at first,” says Houghton. “But it’s about power, not partnership.” Valentine’s Day serves as a perfect cover for this dynamic because grand gestures and heightened intensity are socially expected. This makes the behaviour harder to spot, as anyone questioning the pace of the relationship may be labelled as “ungrateful” or “paranoid.”

Five Red Flags to Watch For

To help women navigate these tricky waters, Houghton identifies five key warning signs that a romantic interest may be love-bombing you:

1. Too Intense, Too Soon: If they are talking about “forever” and a future together before they truly know you, be cautious.

2. Grand Gestures Over Real Connection: Be wary if lavish gifts are used to mask a lack of daily emotional consistency.

3. Pressure to Commit: Pushing for exclusivity, moving in, or emotional dependence very early in the relationship is a major red flag.

4. Hot-and-Cold Behaviour: Look out for a pattern where overwhelming affection is followed by sudden silence, criticism, or withdrawal.

5. Control Dressed as Care: Jealousy, monitoring your movements, or guilt-tripping you should never be accepted under the guise of “I just love you so much.”

Trusting Your Intuition

Distinguishing between real passion and love-bombing is vital. Houghton notes that healthy passion grows steadily, respects boundaries and feels grounding. In contrast, love-bombing thrives on urgency and leaves one partner feeling anxious.

Social media often exacerbates the problem, as timelines filled with luxury getaways and expensive jewellery can make women doubt their own instincts. Houghton stresses that discomfort is often intuition, not fear. “If Valentine’s Day leaves you feeling anxious, unsettled or emotionally confused, that’s not romance – it’s information,” she concludes. “Real love shouldn’t make you feel smaller, anxious or unsure of yourself – even on the most romantic day of the year.”

YourDivorceCoach