I recently bought new appliances. Although paying by cheque, the salesperson, out of habit, asked for my expiration date. “I’m not sure what my expiration date is,” I quipped, “but I’m well past my ‘best before’ date.”
Later when I thought about this, I acknowledged that, contrary to the misguided wisdom of the day, I actually haven’t passed my best before date. My senior years have been a time for personal growth. They haven’t brought a steady decline into irrelevance as I once expected. Despite challenges with my health and the loss of my husband far too early, I’ve been guided through a journey of healing towards true fulfilment.
As the American satirical poet Don Marquis exclaims, “there’s a dance or two in the old dame yet.”
How well we age depends upon our expectations
If you expect that life has passed you by and it’s all downhill from here, that’s just what you’ll get. On the other hand, when you believe that life still holds possibilities, you can discover new ways of being fulfilled.
Where once the elderly were revered, today aging has been given such a bad rap that a massive anti-aging market has sprung up. It’s currently valued at roughly $70 to $75 billion and projected to double to around $130–$140 billion over the next decade. This growth is driven by demand for skincare products, supplements, and longevity-focused treatments to keep an aging population from looking old.
What you need to remember is that the extra pounds on the tummy and the cross-hatching of wrinkles on the face are superficial. The real you lies within. Healing the darkness of mind and spirit allows the light of your true self to shine through.
We don’t need gobs of goo to remove external wrinkles but the ointment of compassion and honesty to smooth over inner wrinkles. We need to show the best of who we are and bring others along with us on the healing journey to self-fulfilment.
What is fulfilment?
Fulfilment is a feel-good state of being. It’s a place of contentment that comes when your deepest needs are met: that is, the need for love, the need for purpose, and the need to know that you matter.
To live fully is to meet each day with openness, curiosity, and gratitude. It means showing up for your own life and not just drifting through routines or replaying the past. It’s the taste of morning tea, the warmth of a friend’s hug, and the contentment that comes from appreciating what you’ve accomplished and what you’ve become.
Living fully doesn’t mean living in a rosy world where there’s no pain or disappointment. As the old song said, you were never promised a rose garden. To live fully is to embrace the life you have – not just the light but also the shadow. It’s about allowing yourself to experience the whole spectrum: joy and sorrow, growth and rest, beginnings and endings.
When you stop resisting what is, you begin to live with more peace, clarity, and compassion: the biproducts of fulfilment.
Tips for living fully
Fullness doesn’t come from the outside world but blossoms from within. You will discover it when you:
- Enjoy today and believe in tomorrow. Be present and live in the now. Don’t get lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future. Believe in tomorrow.
- Think of aging as a gift. There’s more to aging than getting old. Don’t entertain the notion that “old age sucks.” Refurbish your mind with the positive. Stay open to learning and change and new experiences. Be alert to new possibilities for mental and spiritual growth.
- Know yourself. The phrase “navel gazing” is used to disparage self-examination. Yet, without a clear understanding of who you are (gifts, warts and all) you won’t be fulfilled. Discover your strengths and the qualities that make you unique, and build on them. Let your true self shine.
- Live your purpose. Your life’s purpose is a two-sided coin. One side is the intention to become who you were meant to be. Why have you been given this package of talents and experiences that make you unique? The other side is to serve others and leave the world a better place for having been in it. Do things that bring meaning to your life, such as bringing a smile to someone, volunteering however you’re able, and lighting the world by showing your joy at noticing a beautiful cloud formation, or raindrops on a spider web.
- Use writing for understanding. Journal writing is the one tool that can help you make this dream a reality. All you need is an inexpensive notebook, a pen and time. Once you begin to use a journal, you’ll discover the power of writing to understand and reset your mind. I call this practice transformational journaling.
To live fully is to honour the life that’s already happening through you. Every breath, every heartbeat, every new morning is an invitation to begin again and live, not just exist, no matter your age.
Dr Susanne T. Eden is a Canadian educator and past president of the Canadian Association for Young Children. At 87, she shares her story of healing and transformation in her book “Healing from the Inside“, inspiring others to age with optimism and purpose.