Parents often find that asking “How was your day?” leads to little more than a shrug or a vague “fine.” To address this, Fiona Yassin, a family psychotherapist and the founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, has suggested five targeted questions that can help parents spark meaningful conversations with their children. These prompts are designed to make children feel heard and supported, while giving parents insight into their child’s emotional and social well-being.
Yassin explains, “Parents often want to know what their child has been through in the day, not just the highlights, but the challenges and struggles too. By asking the right type of questions, you create space for your child to express themselves and share freely.”
5 Questions to ask children
- “I remember you were concerned about [insert concern] – how did you get on with that at school today?” This shows children that their concerns are taken seriously and encourages them to give specific updates.
- “Who did you spend quality time with today?” This helps them reflect on positive relationships with peers or teachers.
- “What three things were you grateful for today?” Gratitude promotes mental health and offers parents a window into what matters most to their child.
- “Which part of the day did you think would be challenging, and how did it turn out?” This invites children to reflect on resilience and problem-solving.
- “Who did you help today? / Who helped you today?” Focusing on kindness highlights the importance of supportive interactions.
“These questions not only encourage healthy conversation, but also provide parents with important insights into their child’s wellbeing, sometimes even signalling whether additional support or intervention is needed,” Yassin says.
How to approach conversations
Yassin advises parents to consider their child’s communication style. “All children learn and communicate in different ways. Some may be happy to share about their day straight after school, while others may need time to decompress,” she explains.
She also cautions against using games to draw out information. Referring to a recent Reddit post where a parent used “two truths and a lie” to prompt sharing, Yassin notes, “Whilst playfulness and humour can create meaningful bonding moments between parents and children, we must be mindful of the underlying intent. For example, if we want a child to share about their day while also trying to teach them a lesson about lying, the mixed messages may be confusing.” She adds, “If a child has had a difficult or negative day, a game may not achieve its intended purpose of bringing those feelings to the surface. It could also leave the child feeling that the game itself is more important than what they’ve actually been through.”
By using thoughtful, open-ended questions and avoiding tactics that risk confusion, parents can create stronger connections and better understand their child’s school day. These strategies, rooted in empathy and attentive listening, can support children’s emotional growth while fostering trust and open communication.